What If You Could Not Speak For Yourself?

Not many baby boomers consider the ramifications of being unable to give direction when they ill. It is a very real possibility as we edge closer and closer to 60 years old and beyond.  Some evening just sit down and consider, "what would I do if I were unconscious and others were attempting to decide whether to let me stay as I am or 'pull the plug'?  What would I want them to do?"   

I realize that this is scary to think about, but we really need to make those decisions NOW so others will know what to do on our behalf later, should that situation ever arise.  Here is a MSN Money article that reminded me about this.  I have papers drawn up, made the decisions, but have not bothered yet to have them signed before a Notary Public and copies given to various medical establishments to put in my file. Of course one will be kept in my home also, just in case something unforeseen happens at my home.  EMT's, ambulance personnel and my family will want to know what to do and this paperwork will help them all. 

And out of all the other forms of paperwork you may be considering, the Living Will with the appropriate Power of Attorney forms are THE most important. Read on . . .

Okay, here is the MSN Money article. Read it over. Make your own decisions.

3 must-have legal papers

If you were too injured or ill to make your own decisions, who would do it? A stranger or a greedy relative picked by the state? Don't wait; make your choices known.

Writing about incapacity is one thing. Experiencing it, even secondhand, is quite another.

. . .  Most Americans don't have wills, but that's not the crisis that many in the estate-planning industry would have you believe. With a few exceptions, which we'll talk about below, most people's quality of life won't be much improved by a will.

That's because your state already has a basic plan for distributing your stuff when you die. You're dead, so what do you care? If who got your compact disc player or your comic book collection wasn't important enough for you to bother with a will while you were alive, it certainly won't matter to you after you're gone.

What your state doesn't have, though, is an efficient way to take care of you if you're still breathing but unable to make your own decisions because of incapacitating illness or injury.

So if you get in a car accident and die, your estate will be distributed more or less efficiently. Get in a car accident and end up in a coma, and you could be in a world of hurt.

Your critical decisions made by a stranger?

Who would pay your bills or wrangle with insurance companies about your care? Who would decide whether to sue that driver who hit you -- or to shut off the respirator that's keeping you going?

The state will eventually find someone to fill these roles, after a potentially costly and time-consuming court hearing. But it might not be the person you would want. So at a time when you're most vulnerable, life-and-death decisions could be made for you by a stranger -- or an estranged, distant or greedy relative.

That's why you need the following documents:

• A durable power of attorney for health care, which lets you identify who will make medical decisions for you. (This is also known as an advance directive or health care proxy.)
  
• A durable power of attorney for finances, which designates who'll handle money decisions.
  
• A living will, which tells doctors exactly what kind of care you do and don't want to receive if you're terminally ill and incapacitated. (Some states, including Kentucky, Minnesota, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Carolina, Virginia and Wyoming, combine the living will and the durable power of attorney for health care in the same form.)

Fortunately, you can get these documents, plus a basic will, drawn up by an attorney for $300 to $500 in most areas. You can also buy software for about $50 if you want to do the work yourself.

A right to direct your own medical care
And let me tell you: Not having clear instructions, or having to fight with other family members over what you think a loved one would want, is pure anguish.

Of course, thinking about these issues is not fun, which is probably why most people avoid it. You have to ponder some of the grimmest circumstances imaginable. Do I want to be on a respirator if I'm conscious? If I'm unconscious? Do I want food and water withheld? How about pain medication?

There are so many issues to ponder that I highly recommend ordering copies of Your Way, a guide created by nonprofit group HELP, to aid you in deciding what you want and don't want if you're incapacitated.

Decisions about health care and money

You also have to figure out whom to name as your "attorney in fact," or proxy, to help implement these decisions for you. Keep in mind:

• Two heads may be better than one. You don't have to name the same person for both powers of attorney. In fact, many people find that the people they trust to make health care decisions are different from the ones they want handling their finances.
  
• Spouses are good, but have a backup. If you're married or in a committed partnership, that person is a logical choice to fill both roles. But you'll still need backups in case he or she is injured or killed in an accident with you, or is unable or unwilling to serve.
  
• Keep them close. For the health care directive, you'll probably want people who are nearby or at least willing to travel to the hospital to be with you, perhaps for an extended time. The person handling your finances may be able to do so remotely, although you may still prefer to name someone who lives relatively close for convenience. In addition to paying your bills and handling insurance claims, the person handling your finances may also need to sell your home or make other complicated moves that require more proximity.
  
• Make sure they're tough. With your health care proxy, especially, you need someone who's forceful enough and committed enough to your stated wishes to advocate for you, regardless of what others (including family and medical professionals) might think.

You can change these documents at any time, as long as you're still competent. You probably should review them about once a year to make sure you're still comfortable with your decisions. Once you make these arrangements for yourself, start bugging your parents to get their documents in order.  

Parents of minor children: This one's for YOU

Now, back to the issue of wills. Since many people want more control over who gets their stuff than state law dictates. If you're wealthy, estate-planning documents also can help you reduce potential taxes, which can give you peace of mind while you're alive.

That said, there is one group of people who should absolutely, no question, have wills, and that's parents of minor children. Even if you can't agree on who gets the crystal, you need to agree on who would take care of your children in the event of your death. No matter how icky you feel about planning for your own demise, you owe it to your kids to spare them the potentially ugly and drawn-out custody battle that could ensue if you don't make these decisions now.

So go make that appointment with an attorney or buy the software -- right now. A small investment of your time could spare you and your loved ones a lot of grief.  I am going to go get mine finished up. You do the same -- now.
 

  READ MORE through this MSN Money link.

 

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I hope this information has been of some help to you. As always, if you would like to add a thought, question, give suggestions for another topic, or make a general suggestion, please post a comment below. Also, please follow / subscribe to this blog.  Thank you!