I once thought that being alone, meant just that. Being alone... by yourself... no one else around you at all. But I've changed that thinking quite awhile ago. Being a farmer you are by yourself quite often. Such as in this photo where my hubby and brother-in-law are both working, but out by themselves. This is where a true state of "alone" is, as I used to think. But there are other types!
"Alone" or loneliness isn’t about how isolated you are, it’s how isolated you feel. It’s about self-perception. After all, plenty of people who find themselves in the situation surrounded by friends but lacking a romantic partner–feel lonely, too. Why is that such a problem? Tonight I am researching this. I and most people most often face "alone" at work. I worked in a big office... lots of cubicles, but every one of us was still "alone" doing our own thing, even though there were many others within arms reach in some cases.
That is one type of "alone" but it brings me to the very public being "alone." It is when you are in a group of people, probably a party or social gathering of some sort and you have no one to converse with. I feel this when going to reunions. I never feel more lonely than with a crowd of people who are friends with each other, but not with me. During the office picnic or other office social events, others I had associated with during the work week, would pair off. They’d come up and ask people around me if they want to go hang out or they would just talk mainly to that other person - yet somehow I’m invisible. What happened?
I think true loneliness is felt when we feel either dismissed, unsupported, misunderstood or neglected. Usually these are emotions in response to other people. I feel most at ease alone, and I am a fairly extroverted personality. But being in a group I become much more self-critical. I've learned to not take myself so seriously and that has helped, but I still dread parties for the same "alone" reason.
Maybe it has to do with being either proactive or reactive. When you intentionally venture out alone you don’t feel lonely. It is only if you’re in a situation/event/party with people you don’t know and are abandoned by the one(s) you do know that you feel lonely.
Here is my suggestion: Step Outside of Yourself. Don't think about what others think of you while at that party! They may be just as worried about what you think of them. Be polite and thoughtful at the same time and as content as you would be if you were at home (within reason!)
Much of what we feel when out could be self-perceived... not on anyone's mind but your own. Unless you are given reason to believe otherwise, I'd say don't worry! Be happy and visit!
Do you have suggestions? Please leave them for me here to share.
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